It’s finally happening, I am finally, finally returning to work, tomorrow infact. I left work early in August 2015 to go to my GP for the MRI results on my leg and that’s where my life took such a serious turn.
I will never forget the GP phoning me asking me to come in for my results and querying if anyone could come in with me. I nearly laughed off the suggestion with a dumbfounded confusion, why on earth would I want to bring someone in with me, well it never for a second came across my mind that I was about to be told I had a large tumor in my leg, needless to say I wasn’t the least bit aware!
That was me done for work for a long long time, of course when I was just about to return to work at the end of 2016 I relapsed, so the long wait continued. I was so close to returning in 2016 that I just couldn’t believe it was taken away from me again. Now here I am again, but a lot closer, I am due in work tomorrow for my first day and I’m SO excited, I can’t describe to you how excited I am. It wouldn’t be the same excitement as heading off on a nice holiday, but I am definitely excited. I can’t want to just get back to a routine again, to get to chat to more people on a daily basis, and to hopefully get my brain working at full capacity again.
I am returning on a phased basis to start with which is really positive, and each week my days will gradually increase as the weeks progress, in order for my body and my mind to once again get normalised to a working environment.
I’ve been told that it’s not going to be easy, that it’s going to be physically and mentally exhausting for a while but I just don’t care about that, I will deal with that day by day, I am just happy to be getting back to it. It will definitely be the scenario that things will get a lot worse before they get better in terms of my mental and physical energy, but that’s ok, it’s a means to an end and I am as ready as I can be for it. I suppose my main concern really is the fact that its not the most ideal time to return to work as we are now going in to cold and flu season so it’s going to be really difficult for me to avoid picking things up in work, but I can only do so much, I just hope that it won’t affect my working days during the course of the winter.
I don’t feel anxious, I don’t feel worried or nervous, I am just excited, I seem fairly nonplussed about the whole situation which makes me happy. It’s a bit weird that I don’t feel nervous but I have a fair bit of self confidence in myself which helps, but we’ll see how it goes, I may think differently by the end of the day tomorrow. I think I have just been through so much worse over the last three years that it can’t be that bad. I literally can’t wait to just get in there to start work, to start meeting people again and having people to talk to on a daily basis, it will certainly be the final piece in relation to the isolation issues I have experienced over the last few years.
Being a marathon runner has really helped me through the last few years on both a physical and a mental level, the endurance levels a person needs to run a marathon is so important and it is something that has definitely been a factor in my battle and my recovery, it has helped to keep my body strong and my mind strong, and I guess it’s part of the reason why I am not worried about tomorrow, because I have really just built up an incredible strength through my battles.
As for now, I’m just off the phone with my manager, I am good to go for tomorrow, I got my hair chopped, my work clothes ready for the morning and I’m ready to go, so that’s it for me for now, time to relax for the evening, wish me luck!
For those of you who perhaps didn’t see that my event is up and running, I have the link for it below. It is an event I am holding next July in aid of the Irish Cancer Society, a 5k and a 10k road race around my home village in Inch Gorey, Co.Wexford. If you think you might be interested or possibly know someone that would be interested in taking part, the details are below, so spread the word, please register and help support this great event for a great cause.
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